Donna and the Christmas Rooster; A Tale of Forgiveness
Let’s call him Rocky. A big, black macho Australorp. He started as a supposed hen, purchased with six other chicks at the feed store, but he gradually morphed into a rooster, much to my initial chagrin. “ Oh well “, I thought, “a good morning cockakadoodledo and warmth and protection for the hens” (we have coyotes who circle the pen from time to time, licking their lips). We always kept a respectful distance, Rocky and I, neither trusting the other (we both have reputations). Enter that fateful day, not long ago, when Rocky started coming up behind me for sneak and sudden attacks. This is no small matter – these guys are hefty and pack powerful beaks and talons. I would either dart away or grab a stick and threaten him, backing out of the run or getting in his face with a mighty show of bravado I didn’t always feel. Trust me, they can be scary. “ And so can I, I shot back. “big and bold”. Donna against the rooster.(At this point, I saw the face of all the people I still held justified” anger and resentment against plastered on his face).
And so it went on. Sticks escalated to brooms and brooms to plastic garbage barrels (I kid you not), our anger and defensiveness was escalating. We both thought we had a good case against the other – after all, I paid the bills and kept the hen house clean, all I was asking for was a little respect. From Rocky’s perspective, he was just being a rooster, and I was a perceived, and now real, threat. I was now having fantasies where I planned his ultimate demise – strangulation, thrusting him into feedbags, beheading, coyotes, the soup pot. Craig’s listed him for $1 and an offer to dress him up for Christmas. No response.“Can you believe he has the nerve to attack me?” I would rage to my housemate Randal, who was trying to enjoy a quiet breakfast. By this time, I would come in from my most recent artillery engagement, armored from the rooster and the cold with layers of canvas and leather. “The fucker!”
I went on-line and Googled “Dealing with Aggressive Roosters“.
This was an eye-opener. More fuel for my fire. Guys on You Tube with scars up and down their shins from rooster attacks, kicking at their poultry. How to successfully throttle your bird. Increasing angst. A growing awareness that this had to end, but how? Didn’t I have a right to be angry? It’s known that emotions all carry an energy, a charge. The denser emotions – anger, despair, rage, resentment, fear – create a resonance that doesn’t feel good, unless we’re addicted to feeling that way and we think it serves a purpose, generally self-protection or a need for power and control. According to Louise Hay and many others in the healing field, as well as my own experience, these low-frequency emotions are linked to chronic degenerative diseases and immuno-suppressive disorders such as arthritis, chronic fatigue and cancer (plus they make you look ugly and old). Higher frequency emotions- love, happiness, generosity, gratitude, forgiveness and compassion, for example – have a much more beautiful resonance and are associated with health, longevity, spiritual enlightenment, joy and peacefulness.
I knew all this, but I was getting uglier, sicker, more unhappy and older by the second. Starting to fester from a lot of suppressed and unresolved anger and resentment that I was projecting onto this one little being. What to do? I prayed. For a way out of the web of unhealthy emotional interactions that I had been accumulating for some time, probably this and multiple lifetimes that were all coming to a head in this one opportunity for resolution, healing and release. For guidance. And it came, in an unexpected and divinely orchestrated way. Mixed into all the YouTube videos (mostly by men, sorry guys, your time as the ultimate authority on this planet is up) on how to confront and overpower your aggressive rooster (getting the irony, here?), I stumbled on a website, http://vine.bravebirds.org/, and a young woman named Miriam Jones. This lovely, gentle being has chosen to spread her love and light on the planet by rehabilitating roosters who have been taught to fight. Watching her firm but loving energy on the video, I realized in a flow of awareness that I had been taking this bird’s fear personally. With as much anger as I’ve been carrying around lately, his perception of me as a predator was actually well founded. Watching and listening to Miriam speak, I was reminded that when I choose to be angry, resentful or aggressive, for any reason, the worst pain I create is self-inflicted, isolation from those I love and from our my own source of love and God connection, my own heart.
So, this Christmas, I am asking for the forgiveness of all those I have wounded or harmed in this or other lifetimes-children, friends, husbands, mothers, fathers, sisters, lovers, enemies, nieces, nephews, coworkers – and I am offering forgiveness to all those who have harmed or injured me. A big “Get Out of Jail Free” card for us all. I am making the choice to live the rest of my life, and all future lifetimes compassionately, recognizing that most of us are at some level, afraid and in need of love, not aggression. I now choose to live my life peacefully, and to release all discord back to the Universe. Anger and conflict was part of my personal path of growth and evolution as a human being and now I choose to release this back to the Universe for the greater good, knowing that this opens me to the possibility of resonating at a much higher vibration of love, peace, joy and God awareness.
From this moment on, I choose to be happy, healthy, beautiful and at peace.I believe that as each one of us, human and animal, choose to evolve, the whole planet will shift with us.So, the next morning, on with the coat and gloves, and out to the hen house. Rocky was waiting for me when I opened the door, poised for conflict. I took a breath, went to my heart, and spoke to him gently. “Rocky, it’s time to approach this differently. I want to talk to you”. Before he could resist, I scooped him off the perch, folding him under my arm and holding his wings and claws firmly against my side. “It doesn’t have to be this way between us. Let me tell you all the things I admire most about you, and why I’m grateful you are our rooster”, and I did, stroking his feathers, neck and comb softly. I have done this twice a day since. At first I thought he was going to have an attack from fright, he was panting so hard. I really felt for him. Now it’s our routine. I can’t say he enjoys it yet, but he may someday and for now, we have learned to respect each other. No more fights, no more attacks, peace reigns in the hen house.
I have been given an amazing gift. Forgiveness and compassion, for self and others. Freedom from that heavy burden of festering, unresolved anger, grief and pain that I’ve been carrying for only God knows how long. Merry Christmas, Happy Solstice and Happy Holidays to you all out there. May we all come to experience the joy of compassion, forgiveness, love and joy, which I am learning too, with Rocky’s help. May God bless you and bring you peace. And may the Light shine in all of our hearts and lives, now and forever, and Peace reign on Earth. Gotta go, Rocky’s waiting!
“From the point of Light within the Mind of God
Let Light stream forth into the minds of men.
Let Light descend on Earth.”
The Great Invocation